The great cable debate

When Chris and I first moved into our apartment in Chicago, we made a conscious decision not to get cable. For one, we couldn’t afford it because at the time I was supporting both of us on my meager reporter’s salary. And two, we thought we were above cable. It was August, and we delighted in taking our dog to the beach or reading in the park rather than watching brain-numbing television. People would ask us about some pop culture crap, and we’d respond with the utmost self-righteousness, “Sorry, we don’t watch television.”

But that’s pretty much worn off now. Now it’s January and going to the beach in the Windy City is not a good idea (And yes, I realize that Chicago’s moniker the Windy City has nothing to do with the weather. But every local has experienced being knocked over by gale-force winds whipping off the lake and through the insane wind tunnels created by the buildings downtown.) Now when Chris and I get home from work, we find ourselves turning on the tube and watching whatever we can get in using our old-school antenna. We get the three big stations pretty well, but sometimes they’ll only be black and white, or we’ll get that unbelievably annoying flipping screen. Fox is even worse, and as a result we both developed beer bellies watching the MLB and NFL playoffs at bars. Of the stations that do come in, about half are Spanish and another five or so are Asian. PBS has been our one saving grace. We get sucked into its documentaries on a regular basis. Plus, PBS shows the original version of The Office, which is awesome.

But by and large, during primetime we find ourselves watching shows we hate. CSI, the Bachelor, Four Kings, Access Hollywood. They all make my brain hurt, especially because I know there are good shows out there I’m missing. When we lived in Syracuse, we not only had digital cable, HBO and Showtime, but we also had DVR. We recorded everything. So when stupid stuff was on, we could watch last night’s Daily Show. We got hooked on Project Runway and Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. We taped awesome documentaries, and unlike PBS, they weren’t interrupted every half-hour with a pledge drive. At any given time, we had at least 30 hours of television saved on our DVR. And essentially, this is why we won’t let ourselves get cable now. Now that Chris and I are both gainfully employed, we could afford digital cable and HBO and DVR. The problem is that if we get it, we both know we’ll never leave the apartment again. We act like we’re too enlightened for pop culture, but in reality we’re both TV junkies trapped inside an apartment with bad reception.

So until we confront our inner-TV-loving demons, until we can honestly promise ourselves that getting cable won’t lead to the end of our already pathetic social lives, we’ll be stuck watching Emily’s Reasons Why Not.