Building A Successful Marriage: A How-To

Step 1: Have a kick ass wedding.

Step 2: Go on an awesome honeymoon.

Step 3: Leave hubby at home and jet off to a swanky resort in central Texas with no cell phone reception.

What, is this not the typical post-honeymoon process? So yeah, I'm in Texas right now for a work-related conference. It's in the middle of nowhere, and I get, at best, spotty cell phone reception. Meanwhile, my new husband is at home...all alone...and most likely spooning the dog at this moment. (Don't judge it, man. It's not like you've never spooned your dog before. Haven't you?)

Anyway, this is probably isn't the ideal way to spend your fourth week of married life. Any other time, I'd jump at the chance to travel for work. I mean, who doesn't love staying in a fancy resort, eating free food, drinking free top-shelf booze and seeing their boss and co-workers get schnockered? But this time, however, I'd rather be at home with my man, watching bad reality television and drinking Osco-brand whiskey.