Lunch today

Me: Thanks for meeting me for lunch today, honey. I never get to see you in the middle of the day.

Chris: No problem… So let’s get down to business.

Me: Huh?

Chris: For Miguel Tejada….

Me: You’ve got to be kidding me...

Chris: … I want Pedro Martinez.

Me: So the whole reason you met me for lunch today was to make a fantasy baseball trade?

Chris: (Silence)

Me: (Silence)

(Pondering)

There’s no way I’m giving up Pedro for Tejada. For one of the best pitchers in the league, I want Thome.

Chris: OK, but then I also want Rafael Furcal. I need more stolen bases. How many has he stolen this season?

Me: He’s in the double digits. But he’s my only base stealer.

Chris: Yeah, but having someone like Thome who will get you a better batting average and more RBIs will make up for that.

Me: True. I don’t know. I’ll have to think about it.

Chris: What is there to think about? I’m offering you the guy with the second-most home runs in baseball, and he already has, like, 40 RBIs.

Me: Yeah, but Pedro gets me so many strike outs and wins. I’ve got Zambrano, and he gets me a lot of strike outs, too, but he hardly gets me any wins because the Cubs always blow it once the reliever comes in.

Chris:Well, if I pick up Pedro, I’ll have to drop a pitcher, so I’ll give you one of my closers. That should help.

Me: Yeah, I’ll think about it.

Chris:(silence)

Me: Thanks again for meeting me for lunch today.

Chris: No problem.